I have been close to a similar situation, my daughter having been married to someone with Bipolar Disorder, and I know how much she suffered - much as 'Anonymous' did.
In fact I would say my daughter's experience was almost identical so I am only too aware that while only one person in a marriage is diagnosed with BD the effect on their partner can be destructive and devastating and take them into deep depression. So it is not just one person suffering but two.
Every story you read is heartbreaking because from experience you know just how hard it is for them to struggle on trying to deal with a situationthey are not trained to deal with, and they often stay because they love their partner.
Here is another story about the effects it has on the partner or spouse.
December 2, 2013 Hello to you all I have just found your group and it is such a relief to know that I too am not alone. I have been married to my bipolar husband for a little over 13 years he was diagnosed 5 years ago and it has been a massive struggle for me to say the least I have three children from a previous relationship and two children with my husband (so 5 in total).
I can relate to most of the stories I have read on here so far I would like to thank you for telling them, as it has given me a little bit of strength to get through what I'm in the throes of now - yet another episode because he has refused to take his meds (again) this is becoming more of a regular thing.
The one thing I would like some advice on is do I need to put a back up plan in place for me and the children? as the threats to take the house and leave me penniless are becoming more regular and he now starting to take it out on the children. Only three of them are living at home now as the two older ones are grown up and they can go to my parents any time they need some time away so are very much supported.
I still sometimes feel I am to blame and it is my job to protect my kids. not sure if the time has come to put them first and just leave.
Read the Bipolar Diaries on this Blog and then tell me 'What advice would you give Dawn?'
My advice? Had I known what was going on for so many years in my daughter's marriage I would have been telling her and encouraging her to leave with the children. I now understand why he put her into the position of 'it's your mother or me'.
Do not make up a back up plan. See a solicitor/lawyer and then make a pack-up plan. Pack your bags and your children and get out. Save yourself and them while you can.
There is only so far you can go where loyalty to your husband/partner is concerned. You are a mother and your children now come first and they need to be removed from this toxic man. Stop sacrificing yourself. He/she has to learn to deal with their illness themselves and without involving anyone else, least of all their children.
No comments:
Post a Comment