We emigrated to South Africa in 1952 Part 4 1961-2

1959 Colin John 

1959 Ann aged 7

1960 Chris aged 11 months

 1961

Recollections:

In 1961 the MOTHS Alberton branch (Clicketty Click) decided to stage a play and Thelma and I were picked to act in it.

Rehearsals

The rehearsals took place in Alberton and Johannesburg and Pam van der Westhuizen (whom I had become friends with when we worked together) offered to do the make-up of which she has some experience. Charles (her husband and left in photo) and Thelma (seated front row and nearest in photo) also had parts in the play which was staged in Alberton.

1 Jan 61

Driving home from Parktown today John stopped at the traffic lights and a car drove into the back of us shunting us right across the road and half way into the middle of the junction. I was very shaken up because the seat supports broke with the force and my seat went over backwards and I went with it, wrenching my back badly and my head hit the door jamb.

The car responsible pulled up a little way up the hill opposite and the driver got out and looked back to where we were. He then got back in his car and drove off.

The manager of a nearby hotel escorted me back to the hotel and allowed me the use of one of their rooms until the police had sorted things out.

The traffic police arrived and took notes including the number and description of the car and as they were doing this the man who had hit us arrived with a friend. Apparently they were both SA policemen. (The police force in SA had two sections. The SA police and the traffic police.)

He was in the SAP and had driven to his own police station to find a friend who worked with him and bring him back to survey the scene. It appears there was some animosity between the two forces and the traffic policeman taking details told him to clear off and said he is going to report him for 'hit and run'. Fortunately there were plenty of witnesses who came forward.

Feb 61

John has a new job and is being sent to train in the UK for 6 months. I suggested that Ann, Chris and I go with him but he said this was not possible.

He moved a single bed into our bedroom shortly after getting the job and now sleeps in it. This afternoon, while Keith was out and Chris was asleep, I asked him why he had done this. He told me that so far as he is concerned our marriage is over and I should start looking for another husband. That I was not to expect us to live together when he gets back from the UK and we will then get divorced. Wouldn’t discuss it any further. I suppose this has been coming on for a few years now. 
Undated later:

Since his announcement I have tried talking to him about our problems but he is determined to go ahead. I asked him what he thought was going to happen to us (me and the children) and he said that was now my problem and not his and I would have to try to earn enough to keep the three us. I don't know what to do.

He left for the UK and at Jan Smuts airport a dozen or so friends including Thelma, Chris and Thora and the Bretters were there to see him off. 
Keith drove us to the airport and John ignored me completely from the moment we left the flat.

When the flight was called he said goodbye to everyone except me - then turned and walked away. Ann noticed and was distressed and ran after him in tears calling out ‘Daddy, Daddy. You haven’t said goodbye to Mummy.’  He turned and came back and I went towards him to kiss him goodbye and without a word he pecked me on the cheek and walked off. Everyone was stunned by his behaviour.  I felt humiliated because it was so deliberate.

Fri 10 Mar 61

Haven’t had a word from John since he left. I don't know what to do about the break-up. He has not told his parents here either.

Sun 12 Mar 61

Ann and Chris were at Parktown for the weekend and Pam and Charles asked me if I would like to go out with them and a friend of theirs, who will be driving, to a holiday farm called Shangri La, near Nylstroom where his friend has company business with the owners.

Later:  Swam and sat down on a bee however immediately getting nto the water meant the sting did not have a chance to cause problems or pain. 
A good relaxed day out. I guess because there is no drunken husband around.

1961

Recollection: Charles v d Westhuizen had started to take an interest in exploring caves and invited me to join them and his friend Ian (who drove us to Shangri La), and Keith Setters to explore a cave which is on land his company had repossessed in the Magaliesbergs and the cave was on land surrounding a hotel called the Santa Barbara Hotel. Charles said that he understood the cave had never been explored.

It was a very hot day and we had to walk a couple of miles across the veldt to reach the cave and we were hot and dusty by the time we arrived.

We climbed down and crawled around for several hours, sometimes having to secure rope holds to allow us to climb down further and sideways across a face, sometimes squeezing through very narrow gaps, with Charles, the only one with a protective helmet, marking our passage as we went. 
After about 2 hours we reached a shelf which had another shelf about 8 feet below. Charles and I were the only ones with the nerve to climb down to it and peering over the edge into what at first appeared to be a black cavern 

Charles flashed his light around and it came to rest on a striped surveying pole. Great disappointment all round. We were not the first intrepid explorers!
(2016: It amazes me now that I suffered no claustrophobia!)

After a hot thirsty walk back across the veldt, during which Charles found a prickly pear fruit which he carefully pulled to pieces with a knife and a stick, we refreshed ourselves on a teaspoonful of juice.

We returned to the Santa Barbara Hotel where an old albino African was caretaker. He recognised Charles and let us in and after looking around and peering through the windows of the locked and empty hotel we decided to go for a swim in the pool which had been kept clean by the caretaker. None of us had any swim suits or towels.

Pam and I found a small changing hut nearby and stripped down to knickers and blouses (mine was a man’s shirt which I buttoned and tied under my bust) and laughing and giggling at our daring we started to saunter across the grass to the pool when Charles ran out from behind a shrub, slapped us both on the backside in passing, and naked dived into the water. Pam and I. giggling like teenagers, jumped in behind him.

It seemed such a carefree but daring thing to do because we knew that it would not be approved of in South African ‘polite society’.

Certainly I was aware that I was no longer under the critical eye of Mrs B which, until this time, seemed to rule my every action and I did not need to worry about John being around and slowly getting drunk.

How refreshing and cooling that swim was. I had to keep fighting with the buttons of my shirt when they kept coming undone and my shirt kept parting as I swam. This, of course, amused the men but they kept at a respectful distance. 
However as soon as we got out we realised that the water had made our knickers and shirts almost transparent - so squealing and giggling while trying to cover up, Pam and I made a quick dash back to our ‘changing room’. There we decided to wring out our knickers and carry them because they were still soaking wet and dressed in bra, shirt and slacks we walked back to the car by which time our shirts were almost dry. 

I felt  happy and free for the first time in years and it was one of the most enjoyable, relaxed days I’d had since I was a child.

Apr 61

Only one letter from J since he left. He said he definitely wanted a divorce. So have started looking for a small flat for the children and myself. All I can afford is a 1 bedroom flat in one of the cheaper areas. Now working as receptionist/ typist/switchboard operator for an advertising agency near Johannesburg Library. Ian rings me up at work almost daily for a chat. He is the finance manager of UDT.

Undated:

Have met with Ian several times recently and he often drives me over to the hall for rehearsals but does not come in.

He has a pale green Citroen car - which from the front reminds me of Goofy.

Still haven't told any friends that John and I have broken up. It's as though I am trying to ignore the problem. For a while the future seemed like a huge black hole in front of me. But things do seem to be moving between Ian and me - he seems very keen - so perhaps I do have a future after all. I must say I feel very free not having to worry about John's drinking.

Recollection: I had to give up the flat in Doornfontein because I couldn't afford it and found a very small, dark, miserable one bedroomed flat in one of the cheaper parts of town and employed someone to come in and look after Chris, Ann being either at her grandmother's or at boarding school.

9 April 1961 

Last weekend (7-9) was a long public holiday weekend (Van Riebeck’s Day). Tinca wanted the children for the weekend so on the spur of the moment Ian suggested we take a trip to the Kruger.

Day 1: Started out Fri am and drove via Bapsfontein, Bronkhorstspruit (stopped for lunch), Belfast, Machadadorp, Witbank, Middlesburg and Nelspruit (spent first night). 234 miles.

Day 2: Off early again and went through White River and entered KNP by Numbi Gate and drove to Skukuza. Saw only springbok. Dirt roads throughout the park. So ‘eat my dust’ much of the time when others overtake.

After lunch and booking night accommodation (rondavel) set off in pm for Lower Sabie, roughly 25 miles away. Speed limit in KNP 25 mph but even that was too fast. We did 10-15 mph or less most of the time. Didn’t get to Lower Sabie.

Saw water buffalo and elephant, the last being far off.

Whenever we stopped, thinking we had seen something, eachy car that passed us stopped and parked to see what we were looking at. So we started playing games - stopping just anywhere and pretended to be able to see something - peering off into the trees and pointing. Soon there were half a dozen cars parked near us with the occupants trying to see what we were looking at. Then we drove off and left them still mystified.

Later turned off onto a quieter road and came across a leopard seated in the middle of the road. He shifted over to the right (to give us room??) and sat about 100 yards in front of us. No-one was in sight so we had him to ourselves.

We moved the car in closer until we were right beside him - within a few feet. He looked up at us and then resumed his study of a herd of springbok some way off.

I was so excited I burnt myself on my cigarette as I leant across the back of Ian to get a photo and nearly stubbed my cigarette out on the back of Ian’s neck!

Think we got some good shots of the leopard before he went chasing after his dinner. 

We had to turn back soon after because the rest camp closed at 6pm and late returners are fined.

The camp overlooks the Olifants River (a tributary of the Limpopo) and after dinner we sat late into the evening with drinks, watching the glow worms and a crocodile on a sand bank nearby.

Day 3

Up early again and at the gates before they opened at 6am. As we waited heard a hyena laughing - weird sound which reverberated round the hills for several seconds.

Took same route to Lower Sabie intending to have breakfast there. Should have asked before we left because it was too late in the season and was closed. Fortunately we had biscuits to munch on.

Saw the (same?) leopard again and drove on to Tshokwane which is just a halt for tea and cool drinks and then drove back to Skukuza for lunch.

There were lots of baboons at one place - what a pest they are - climbing on cars as they stop, trying to pull off the fittings. It is fatal to feed them - they refuse to get off even when you start to drive away. Ian gave one a banana and we were mobbed and couldn't get rid of them until we speeded up.

Saw wildebeeste, hyena, monkeys, warthogs, squirrels and one snake.

In PM left Skukuza and took a different route to Numbi Gate. Just before reaching the gate on rounding a bend in the road we found a giraffe blocking our way while eating leaves from a tall tree. He was quite unconcerned by our arrival and took his time leaving.

Took same route back to JHB and arrived home 10.15pm.

Mileage 726 miles. 200 in the reserve and hardly saw anything of what it really has to offer. The heat was terrific and we drank loads of cool drinks. Even the butter melted.

It is the first real break I have had for years. Told Keith we went with Pam and Charles because I am sure he would not approve. He doesn't know John has left me and I am too embarrassed to tell him.
However on returning to the flat, where the last thing I had done was to rinse out a coffee mug and left it standing on the draining board, I picked it up and was startled (and horrified) to see cockroaches scatter from underneath. The place is infested with them.

Fri 16 Jun 61 at 1003 Caroldene, Soper Rd, JHB

John sends no money for our support and my pay at Kenyon’s Advertising doesn’t even pay the rent so have had to sell the furniture and move out of the flat which I took after John left (it was infested with cockroaches anyway) and have moved in with Ian. The agents said they would sue me because I had broken the lease and I told them I would report them for renting out a flat infested with cockroaches!

Ian’s bachelor flat is on the top floor and very small with one main room with stoep, a bathroom and a kitchen.

John's mother is no help apart from offering to take the children until I find somewhere larger and is then not very helpful about me visiting them. Whatever time or day I suggest does not suit her.

Ian said he is looking for a larger place and we shall move in in a couple of weeks and we can then have the children with us. He still doesn’t want anyone to know I am married because he thinks his firm will disapprove. Surely they are going to find out sometime especially once the children are with us? It is very difficult remembering what not to say when I meet his work colleagues.
Missing children terribly. Have to keep busy to stop me thinking about them so read a lot am trying my hand at oil painting. 

Thelma said she and Thora had bee invited over for supper at the Bretters where they saw Chris who is still clinging on to the bag of toys I gave him when I left him there, and won't let it out of his sight. Mrs Bs way of turning the screw?

During dinner Thora made the mistake of cutting her roll before buttering it - terrible sin in Mrs B's eyes - in a loud voice she told her off in front of the other guests - 'you break rolls, Thora, not cut them!' Understandably Thora was ery embarrassed. (Spoke to Thora in 2000 and she still hadn't forgotten this incident.)

30 Jun 61

I asked Ian about getting larger flat and he said he hasn’t had time to look for one. I told him how important it was if I was to get the children back but he said it may not be possible for some time. When pressed further he refused to talk about it and later that evening I felt he was trying to punish me for having brought the subject up. He often refuses to talk to me for several hours if we have a difference of opinion, and sulks, making me feel thoroughly miserable.

July 61

I seem to be caught in a cleft stick. Ian has now decided he is not happy with us living together because his company would not approve and he wants us to get married as soon as the divorce is finalised. But I am not sure I want to get married again after the last disaster but may have to if I want the children back.

Spend my days painting and listening to music or the woman in the flats opposite who practices her castanets every afternoon! 
Feel very depressed. Miss the children terribly. Phone every other day to try and get to see them but Mrs B usually has some reason why it is not possible. Tried to get to see them recently when Ann was home on holiday but Mrs B said it was not convenient! Must keep busy to stop me thinking about them.

A visit once a fortnight is about all she will allow me and Ian has a sulk if I talk about them which makes things awkward. Would return home if I had the fares and thought Dad would be supportive but can’t leave Ann and Chris behind. Can’t support myself let alone them. What a mess.

11 August 61

Phoned Mrs B to arrange to take the children next weekend but she said they were all going away for a couple of weeks.

Letter from John which, he said, he was writing in a bar. Says he has heard I am seeing someone and is annoyed that I did not write and tell him.  Now says he cannot bear the thought of losing me and if it is to be then he wants custody of the children because if he has lost me at least he will have them. I cannot believe his attitude. He would be the very worst person to have custody of the children. Ian is away on business for a few days so will have to wait to tell him.
(Suspect it was Keith or Chris May, Thelma's husband who informed him because Thelma and Chris are also in the process of getting a divorce.)

15 Aug 61

Awful row with Ian last night because I said I wanted to sue for custody of the children and he won’t have it. Says he cannot be involved in any court cases or my divorce. Then sulked all evening. Now he wants me to go down to the coast for a while because John is due back any day and he doesn’t want him to find out we are living together in case he is cited as co-respondent.

Just do not know what to do anymore. I have no control over the situation.

9 August 1961  Lagoon Hotel, Amanzimtoti, Natal.

I gave in in the end. Things seem to going against me.

Ian has brought me down here because John is due back in the country sometime soon and he doesn’t want him to know we have been living together. He returned to JHB same day so I am here all by myself.

Have a lovely room with a sea view and at night I can hear the sea breaking on the sands. But none of this really pleases me because I am missing the children so much. I have lost a lot of weight in recent months.

Getting plenty of rest and am getting a tan because, having nothing to do, I spend most days reading on the beach or balcony and relaxing in the sun in a bikini. First time I’ve worn one.

Plenty of time to think over things. 29 this month. What a mess. Should have left John years ago but I needed a reasonable income to do this.

Ian doesn’t understand how difficult this is for me to be parted from A and C and doesn’t want to talk about it.

Made friends with a Scots girl, Jean Sinclair. She has a mahogany tan from her hours in the sun. Husband (Jimmy) employed locally on a diving contract. (Sewage pipeline into the sea.)

Natal very beautiful, a lot different to the Transvaal. English principal language. Seem to be lot of people from home staying here. A couple, recently arrived, come from Walthamstow. Another is a Belgian woman on leave from the Congo with her young son, about Christopher’s age. There is a lot of trouble in the Congo and she said things were pretty bad there.

Letter to Dad:

Once again I must apologise for not writing sooner. You know what it is like on holiday. Ian is joining me down here on 26th and we will spend a week here and then will visit Portuguese East Africa at the beginning of September. (Note: We never got there because Ian was worried about the office managing without him.)

In spite of changeable weather I am enjoying myself as far as possible without company. Ian phones me twice a week.

'Toti is a very quiet place and I am getting plenty of rest. My weight is 8 stone 7 lbs and I haven't been that for ages. My tan is improving and I spend every day possible on the beach. I wear a bikini and very little of me is not tanned.

I am enclosing 2 black and white negatives and one colour negative. The chemist down here takes two weeks to print and I'll be gone by then so perhaps you can get prints for yourself. Of the other two girls, the one on the right is a Scots girl. What a tan!

One black and white negative is of the view from my window at the hotel so you can see how near the beach I am. The Transvaal has nothing to compare in scenery with Natal but I am not making any trips out to see some of the beauty spots until Ian comes down.

Natal is very English with Afrikaans spoken very little. Most people down here have close connections with Britain and still call it home even if they were born here. Everyone is very friendly. One couple I was speaking to last night came from Walthamstow. The husband had just arrived from Rhodesia. I also met someone else who had flown in from the UK 24 hours earlier. Everyone made him welcome and he was thrilled with what he had seen of this part of South Africa. But I am afraid it is not like that anywhere else in the country except, possibly, some parts of the Cape.

I haven't done much swimming since I arrived spending most of my time sunbathing on the beach. I suppose that is the way holidays are supposed to be. Lounging about.

28 Aug 61

Long walk with Sanie (Swiss) today. She’s Jean Sinclair’s friend. At least meeting a few people helps me keep my mind occupied.Up over the hill, alongside railway track - fortunately only a couple of trains a day - then down to the beach for a paddle and walk back along the beach to the hotel. Back to hotel there was great excitement because a man had been seen exposing himself to some of the girls from the hotel sunbathing on the sand nearby!

Recollection: When Ian came down to return to Johannesburg we drove out to Oribi Gorge further along the coast and near Port Shepstone.

At Oribi Gorge

Sat 16 Sep 61 (Back in JHB)

Have tried to see the children several times since my return but Mrs B says that John doesn’t want me to see them and she will not discuss it with me. Tried to speak to Ian about custody of them because I can do nothing unless he approves. He will not discuss it and refuses to talk about it when I raise the question. Asked him to speak to his solicitor friend to find out exactly what my position is but like the larger flat he was going to get - he is ‘too busy’ to find the time.

Mon 18 Sep 61

John returned from UK and phoned me to say he had been in to Ian’s office today. Wants to meet up to discuss the divorce so arranged to meet at lunchtime. When we met he said that he thought I would soon become bored with Ian because he had no depth. 
Said he would name Ian as co-respondent in the divorce unless I agree to give up the children and if necessary he would stand up in court and make up things to say about me as a mother and ruin Ian. That he will never let the children come back to me and he will pay no maintenance.

I am in shock. I don’t want him to get custody of the children - this is sheer spite. He can be so unkind to Ann. He showed little concern for them when we lived together and was a hard father now he pretends that having lost me he cannot live without them .  Such a hypocrite.

When Ian got home I told him what John had said and he went berserk. What will his company think if they find out about us is all he can say. Not in the least concerned that I might lose the children. I feel so depressed.

I am unable to earn enough to keep me and the children and John is refusing support. I have nowhere to live and Ian is now adamant that he does not want the children.

Phoned John to try and persuade him to let me see the children but he says not only will he not let me see the children but that if I try to gain custody he will defend the case and will carry out his threat even if it means lying in court.

Wed 20 Sep 61

This evening the Bretters arrived unexpectedly at about 9.30 pm. We had a couple of Ian's work colleagues visiting at the time so had to see them in the kitchen.

She said they want to adopt the children. John apparently agreed a week ago. I asked if I could see the children regularly but she said she would not allow this and the adoption people said it was better for them both to be adopted at the same time and for them to make a complete break from me. I was in a daze for the rest of the evening after they left. This is a nightmare and Ian is absolutely no help. Keeps saying his company mustn’t find out I have been married before.

I am on my own in this flat from the time he leaves in the morning until 8, 9, 10 at night and feel quite desperate and lonely some nights when he doesn’t come home until very late.

To pass the time I walk around Hillbrow window shopping during the morning. Shop for dinner. Trying to keep busy but what can one do in a one room flat on the top floor? Life is so empty without the children. Cry a lot when Ian is not here.

26 Sep 61

Decided I have to do something and not wait for Ian to arrange an appointment with his solicitor friend and saw one this morning. He said I have no hope of gaining custody of the children because I have no income. If Ian and I marry and Ian is willing to support them things would be different. Spoke to Ian again about applying for custody of the children. He didn’t want to discuss it so another evening of his sulking. Said I wouldn’t marry him unless he agreed to help me get custody of the children. Feel very depressed.

27 Sep 61

Good news. First thing this morning Ian said he wants us to marry and once married we can do something about the children.

16 Oct 61

Heard from Dad that Nan is in hospital with a broken hip. Will need a hip replacement. She went out at dusk to bring in coal, slipped and fell. Dragged herself in to the scullery and lay there till the following afternoon until Dad arrived. She is now in hospital having had a hip replacement. Wish I was home.

My divorce from John is due to be heard next Wednesday. Final decree will be due 13 Dec. Ian has set a tentative date for marriage at JHB RO for 23 Dec. He is hoping to get promotion and a move to Cape Town.

Told Ian I still want to defend the divorce and apply for custody of the children and that if he would agree, since he wanted to get married, then I had a good chance of getting them. He is absolutely set against this because there could be adverse publicity with John saying he will make sure it gets into the newspapers if I defend the case. What happened to John’s promises years ago that if I ever wanted a divorce I could have one and he wouldn’t make a fuss?

Ian said anyway it is too late to apply for custody and a court is not going to give me custody unless I can show I can support us and that I will not be able to say that he will support us because that would mean mentioning him. Said again he does not think he could take the children because he couldn’t bear it if they turned out hating him! Feel very depressed. Think he is more worried about what his company will say. I don't feel like fighting any more.

28 October 1961

Letter to Dad: Give Nan a kiss and my love and tell her I'm pleased that she is feeling a little better.

The divorce is due to be heard next Wednesday and if all goes well the decree should be final on 13th December.

Ian and I have tentatively arranged the 23rd December, a Saturday, to get married and if this all goes to plan we will be spending the following two weeks in Portuguese East Africa. Of course I am a little on edge but as soon as this business is over I shall feel much better except that I miss the children terribly.

Remember the accident that John and I were involved in on January 1st this year while we were stationery at the traffic lights when someone ran into the back of us? The insurance company has agreed to pay £109 for my injuries, medical expenses and costs. This comes at just the right time as it will pay for the divorce and save me having to rake into the kitty again.

Have started clay modelling. What a fascinating hobby it is. Managed to get quite a good likeness of Ian for a start and was very thrilled with it but he said it looked too much like him. I wonder what that means? Anyway he wants me to destroy it!

Don't know if I wrote and told you that John has his ulcers back. That's the price you pay for drinking too much. He has also collected his new car from the coast so I imagine he is happy to have transport again. I've only seen him once since he arrived back. As you say - the less he knows the better.

My weight remains at 118-119 lbs. (8 stone and 6 or 7 lbs.) My measurements indicate a little exercise of the waist. Bust 35", Waist 25", Hips 36". With the combination of my tan I am looking very fit.

Love to you and Nan.

11 Nov 61

Ian insisted we should sign an ante-nuptial contract and not get married by Community of Property. Ante Nuptial Contracts appear to me to be a presumption that the marriage is going to end in divorce. Certainly doesn’t show much faith in ones future life together.

Yesterday he arranged for us to go to the office of Mark, his solicitor friend, to have an ante-nuptial agreement made out and signed. Ian said he is a very good friend of his so I assumed he knew I was still married. It was most embarrassing because Ian had not told him anything. It was all very jovial and light hearted when we arrived with Mark filling out the form on his tyrpewriter and asking the questions on the form.

Ian answered for both of us - ‘Full name?’ etc etc and then he got to the question ‘marital status’ Ian said (in my case), ‘single’. I interrupted and said 'No'. Mark paused for what seemed an age and I waited for Ian answer. He didn’t say a word and I then knew he hadn’t told him I was married and he was embarrassed. So I had to explain I was in the process of a divorce.

Spending day tomorrow at Little Falls near JHB - maybe it will get my mind off things.

At Little Falls

Fri 22 Dec 61

Married Ian today however I feel as though I have been forced into agreeing to marry Ian on his promise that once he get his transfer we will apply for custody of  Ann and Chris. I am grasping at straws now for how can I get custody if they are adopted?

Marriage certificate: by antinuptial contract at Johannesburg: Ian McPherson, date of birth 28 January 1930, white and Jean Constance Turnbull born Barnes, born 27 August 1932, on 22 December 1961.

I feel as though I have been drifting and have to let things happen because I can do nothing to change them. I feel unable to fight anymore.

On our wedding day (a fiasco if ever there was one) Ian said he had to go in to the office first to make sure things were running smoothly!!!

He finally arrived back home at ten to eleven meaning we had to rush because we were booked at 11 in JHB RO in the courthouse.

Mad dash to get across town, then find parking which at that time and being a Saturday morning was almost impossible. Ran along the street, up the steps and stairs and arrived at the RO hot and out of breath. No-one invited to attend or be our witnesses so we had to ask two passing strangers to volunteer as witnesses. Then rushed back to flat making it all feel like a hasty back street marriage.

Ian then opened a bottle of champagne, took one sip, and said he had to go back to office to finish things off and would be back in an hour! Well at least the flat cleaner was here to offer congratulations!

Am now waiting for him to return (it’s 3pm) because we were supposed to be leaving  immediately after the ceremony and on our way to Durban. Ian has arranged for us to stay at the Lagoon Hotel for a few days. It’s only when he has days away from the office that he shows any ‘desire’ so it will be good to get away.

I feel absolutely stunned as though again I am no longer in control of anything that happens to me and I no longer know what is the right thing to do. It’s as though I am caught in a current and cannot break free and I am just being carried along.

NOTE: This is another example of Ian's great planning skills. We arranged to marry 3 days after my divorce at the Johannesburg Registry Office with no witnesses (so that no one who knew him would discover I had been married before). We were then to go on a week’s holiday.

This was over Christmas so it was essential we booked early to make sure we had a room. Ian was in charge of finances and said he would make the booking at the Lagoon Hotel in Amanzimtoti, where I had once stayed earlier in the year for 6 weeks.

Sat 23 Dec 61

Arrived at Lagoon Hotel (7.30am) to discover they had no knowledge of our booking and being Christmas they were fully up They did manage to find us a poky little room (which before they cleared it out for us was being used as a store room) with no view whatsoever, just a small window which overlooked a building well, so our view is three blank walls while down below are the kitchens from which issues strong smells of cooking. The room is also very hot and noisy!

Ian said he had put £5 into an envelope for the booking and had posted it down to them. I don’t believe one word of it. (Said he also did the same for a hotel in Lourenco Marques!)

Invited to a dance at the hotel next door where we met up with Jean and Jimmy Sinclair (friends from my earlier stay in 'toti) who are staying there now. Arrived at 8.30 and after half and hour into the dance Ian said he was feeling ill so we went back to our hotel and the joys of our luxurious room!

Tue 26 Dec 61

After a thoroughly miserable two day ‘honeymoon’ we returned to JHB.  Ian was unwilling to join in any of the amusements arranged by the hotel. He was aloof, unfriendly, critical and superior to everyone including people I know from when I was here previously. Not to mention sleeping in a room which was noisy, smelly and boiling hot.

1962

Jan 62

Have just returned after spending 3 weeks at Shangri La, near Nylstroom, a holiday hotel, owned by Jannie and Hannie Kruger who are clients of UDT. Ian had arranged their loan to buy the place so has an open invitation to stay with them. (Probably doesn’t cost him anything but the bar bill.)

Swam several times a day with last dip in evening before bed. Water always warm. Sat out on open roof dance floor each evening (no else staying at hotel) sipping drinks with J & H. Typical Afrikaaners but very friendly.

Surprise, surprise - Ian popped off every couple of days to return to JHB to supervise the office!  I was left behind to find my own amusement. Trying not to think of the children but they are always on my mind. Ian still doesn’t like me mentioning them or anything about my past life.

Little to do so spent several mornings with Hannie as she bottled up in the bar. She said I wasn’t supposed to be in there because of the laws about women in bars but it was out of hours. 
One morning when she heard someone knocking at the door she panicked, thinking it might be a police raid, and told me to hide me in the spirit store and shoved me into a tiny , windowless, hot and airless room (about 4 foot by 6) and told me to keep quiet. Didn't help my claustophobia!

Eventually, thanks heavens, she had to let me out because the two Afrikaans policemen who were making a 'friendly' call, wanted drinks and wouldn’t leave until they had a couple. Knowing how hot it was in there Hannie thought I would pass out if I was in there for much longer - which was true.

They were OK about it but I was wearing shorts and brief top and they looked me up and down making me feel I was being undressed and judged by them. 

Not knowing I didn't have a driving licence Hannie told them I was on my way to town to do some shopping and pick up Ian who was there on business, and I was only there because I had just dropped in my room keys to her.

Eventually I had to leave to convince them. Unfortunately they decided to leave at the same time but didn’t drive off immediately.  I dawdled around for several minutes to give them time to leave before me but in the end I was forced to drive off because it was early closing day. Felt terrible all the way into town with them following, and very guilty and was sure they knew I didn’t have a licence. Talk about a guilty conscience!

Braaivleis one night. Just the four of us. No wonder Ian has to keep extending their loan - they have practically no guests!

The swimming pool filter stopped working in the second week and the algae and chemicals have turned my blonde hair green. Visit to hairdresser this pm to get it sorted.

Later:

Disaster with my hair.  My hairdresser (who I later discovered was not qualified) re-bleached it and much of my hair broke off short. Then had to have my hair dyed back nearer to my own colour.

Feb 62

Hartebeestepoort Dam

Out to stay with the Bruntons at Hartebeestepoort Dam for weekend. Ricky, a trainee solicitor, took us out on their new motor boat last night - pitch dark - no moon - no lights on the boat. Quite frightening because he was going so fast and felt sure we would run into something.

On return after anchoring the motor boat we rowed the dinghy back to the jetty. The men then had to pull the dinghy up onto the very narrow platform. Ian took a step back too far in the dark and stepped onto empty space and fell into the water - fully clothed. Lot of algae in dam!

He wasn’t amused especially when we all laughed (I was almost in hysterics) as we pulled him out and mimicked the sound of his shoes squelching as we climbed back up the hill to the cottage.

Recollections:

The dam was quite low from lack of rain and very green with algae.

Ricky was very patient when trying to teach us to water ski and while I managed to stand up a couple of times generally I found that while floating in the water waiting to be pulled upright the two skis began uncontrollably floating in opposite directions.

Even when I did manage to get upright my legs started spreading apart and Ian said that from the shore it looked as though I was going to splt up the middle!

I was so tired in the end that I had no strength to pull myself back on to the boat and Ricky said he would tow me back. Halfway back I looked down to find the bra of my bikini had pulled up leaving my breasts bare and the green algae water was being strained through the bra and had turned the white lining green!. (Recollection: I never did manage to get the lining of the bra white again!)

1962 Kyalami

Easter 62

Thu 19 Apr 62

Ian decided at the last minute that we would to drive to Natal and along the coast.

It being Easter I suggested we should phone first to see if we can book a hotel but Ian is sure we will find somewhere to stay.  Driving through night and probably stopping at Vryheid for one night. Just in case I am taking a pillow and blanket although Ian insists they won't be needed.

Good Fri 62

Drove on through Zululand to St Lucia Hotel who are, not surprisingly, full up. Everywhere is full so we are sleeping (with the approval of the owner) in the car in the hotel grounds tonight.

Fortunately I brought a pillow and blanket for myself. Since Ian said, when we started out, that we wouldn’t need any bedding and refused bring anything for himself I hogged both.

Sat 21 Apr 62

Slept on back seat of the Citroen with the pillow and blanket last night and Ian slept in the front which has bucket seats. Not a good night for him because  there was so little room in the front and the steering wheel got in the way meaning he couldn't turn.

It was too hot to sleep with the car windows closed. Good night for me though apart from the mosquitoes. They were everywhere and we had to fill the car with cigarette smoke several times then swat to get rid of them! Spent a good half an hour each time searching out the remaining ones and swatting them.

The moment the light was out you could hear the high pitched whine of one again. In the end closed the windows and left one door at the back slightly on the latch which seemed to fool the skeeters.

Easter Sunday

The hotel has rooms and cottages and a shower and toilet block outside with 2 showers for those in self catering.

The hotel generously agreed we could use the toilets and showers for nothing.  A lot of hotel guests were up early which seems a busy time and most appeared to use them for a quick four or five minute shower and then finish off in their cottage. 
I took my shower and was in and out in less than 5 minutes for already there was someone waiting to use it after me.

Ian went next and, as he usually does, took his time. Almost as bad as my Dad who takes 20 minutes to strop his razor! Shower, shave, shampoo and a quarter of an hour or more later people were hammering on the door and shouting for him to get a move on.

Twenty minutes later he strolls out wondering what all the fuss is about! Lots of dirty looks and muttered comments from people who were waiting - and we weren’t paying to use the facilities - they were.

Cape Vidal

Drove to Cape Vidal across marshes on a very narrow road. Got lost a couple of times and stuck in the sand once when we drove on to a beach. I hopped out immediately and put my shoulder to the car to keep it moving. Ian quite impressed!

Lovely quiet beach at Cape Vidal but difficult reach - only one access road which had great tree roots across it. Not many people there. Beautiful blue sky and sea.

Have decided, because we cannot find accommodation, to return to JHB tomorrow. Another one of those unforgettable Ian arranged holidays!

Later: Drove back via coast to Durban, past cane fields. Then back to JHB.

Jun 62

Foreground: Piwacket

Ian has bought me a little Siamese kitten we have called ‘Piwacket’ (from Bell, Book and Candle.) Does he think the cat will replace my children? Getting a cat seems a little short sighted in view of the fact we are planning to holiday in the UK soon. Piwacket however is a sweet little thing and talks a lot.

He now refuses to discuss applying for custody of the children and I think anyway it is too late now to do anything. 

27 Jun 62

Walk around Hillbrow every day - just to get out of the flat. I am totally cut off from everyone I once knew. Sometime we go down to the Casa Mia for drinks late in the evening two or three times a week. Life seems very shallow.

Jul 62

Went with Ian on business to Petersburg.  Said I should take car while he was in a business meeting and I accidentally hit a guinea fowl - didn’t stop to find out if I killed it. Noticed in rear view mirror that an old African had run out to pick up the road kill for his dinner. Next day drove to Magoebaskloof.

Aug 62

Ian is due for long leave so we decided some months ago to take the Union Castle east coast route to the UK. We had talked about going overland and discussed buying a Land Rover and had it all planned but then he decided against it. We leave near the end of the year.

Sun 7 Oct 62

Visited The Wilds and took photos.

Tue 9 Oct 62

Last pic at Caroldene with Piwacket

Piwacket is in the cattery and is to be spayed in our absence. Have given up flat and our furniture is in store but not the piano which he gave me last birthday. It turns out that it was not a gift after all - it had been repossessed, belongs to UDT! We have just been storing it. Didn’t find out until a couple of men arrived to take it away a few days before we gave up the flat. When I asked him where it was going he mumbled that it had gone back to UDT. What a disappointment.

Have been in a residential hotel around the corner for a couple of weeks now. Catch train to Durban this evening, night journey, and board ‘Braemar Castle’ for east coast trip to UK tomorrow.

Ian already worrying about how they will get on without him at the office! Feels sure he will be called back at the last moment.

Later: At last we are on our way. This trip is a sort of delayed honeymoon and a visit to see if we feel we would be able to settle back in the UK again. We are also meeting each others parents for the first time. 

From left: Me, Chris, Thelma, Ian

Caught night sleeper train from Johannesburg to Durban andThel, Chris, Thora, Keith and half a dozen others there to see us off. Felt very tearful. I hate goodbyes.

Wed 10 Oct 62

Good night’s sleep in coupe but woke up a couple of times when we stopped at the odd station. Up early this morning.

Now on Braemar Castle Cabin no. B10. We have a total (counting my handbag) of 14 pieces of luggage! We packed everything just in case we decide to stay in UK. Most is in the hold but still far too much still in our cabin making it difficult to navigate.

We are visiting at Beira, Dar es Salaam, Zanzibar, Mombasa, Aden, Suez, Genoa, Marseilles, Gibraltar.

Ian still worrying how they are going to manage at the office without him! Said he was going to phone them to see how they were coping without him!! Managed to persuade him not to. What will he do if they are not coping? Cancel the trip?

On arrival on board we found our cabin and unpacked. The cabin is L shaped with the porthole at one end of the L, beneath which is a washbasin, and a door at the other.

The bunks are opposite the window and the other part of the L near the door has a small wardrobe. Pretty well packed to the ceiling with too much cabin luggage because there is little room in the wardrobe!

We are a day early so the seating plan for the dining room was not posted. At lunch we gave the dining steward who greeted us our cabin number and he showed us to a round table in the centre of the room.

Just as my backside was about to touch the seat of the chair the Chief Steward arrived - and glowered at us. Big man - very threatening manner who, in a deep booming questioning voice said ‘AND NOW?’ It sounded like God asking the question. 
The steward had seated us at the captain’s table (table 10) by mistake!! His mistake not ours but I am sure the Chief Steward thought we had decided to sit there ourselves. 
For our sins we have been seated this  with a couple of elderly spinster ladies that no-one else wanted. (Joan and Margaret.)

11 Oct 1962

Sailed from Durban. Early days spent organising deck chairs and finding our way around. Again, not at all sea sick.

17 Oct 1962

Beira

The pursers have posted lists of sports and games tournaments. Ian asked what I wanted to go in for but I just want to doze in the sun. He kept on about it and I said I would play in the bridge tournament if he insisted.

Went on deck to watch as we came into Beira. When we docked the tide was in and the ship is a good fifteen feet above the quay. All around the cabin area were notices about closing portholes when in dock and as we were about to go ashore I went to close ours but Ian said not to bother because we were so high above the quayside it would takes someone with 15 foot long legs to get up to our porthole.

Went ashore this evening and met up with a small group of passengers while we were having a drink. Spent the evening in a hotel nightclub where there was a strip show. Nothing like that allowed in SA so many SA men were there.

I was more interested in watching the men’s faces as they watched the stripper. Ian very embarrassed because she came over to him and asked him to undo her bra and then shook her breasts in his face. Her nearly fell off his chair.

Returned to the ship late in the night and went straight to cabin. Did't bother to pull the curtains over the porthole and stood by the bunks to undress and had just got down as far as bra and knickers when I looked up and saw a face, topped by a pith helmet,  staring back at me through the porthole!!! Panic. And as I scuttled to get out of sight the face disappeared.
‘I just saw someone looking through the porthole’ I said to Ian. ‘Nonsense - it’s your imagination’ he replied.

I peered around the corner towards the porthole and the face was there again so I told Ian to take a look but the face has disappeared but a moment later it appeared again, and then disappeared. Ian let out a yell and we heard the sound of feet running off down the quay. We had forgotten this was a tidal port and the curious nightwatchman was doing his rounds!

NOTE: At times some of the details about a certain day of the trip were written up two or three days after and these have been put into date order to make easier reading.

19 Oct 1962

The Sports tournament lists went up today and Ian has entered me in practically everything. I am so annoyed. Table Tennis, all the deck games including tennis which I don't play, swimming, Canasta, Bridge. I crossed my name off all but Bridge and Bucket Quoits.

20 Oct 1962

Dar es Salaam

From the boat the town looks blindingly white. We went into the UDT office (where else?) and met Chris who works there and had a snack in a nearby cafe.

22 Oct 1062

Zanzibar is very lush and green and the cobbled streets are very narrow. Many houses had massive, metal studded, heavy wooden doors covered in carvings and studded. It is ruled by the Sultan of Zanzibar.

We went ashore and walked around the streets looking at the shops. Everything was calm and quiet and we had been assured we would be in no danger and would not be pestered either, which we weren't.

In the pm while shopping and sauntering along we suddenly became aware of a sound in the distance - like a crowd of people shouting and screaming - and they were coming in our direction.

We heard them before we saw them and stepped back into a doorway to make sure we weren't trampled underfoot in the riot because that is what it sounded like.

Around the corner came a crowd of about fifty people, mainly children and teenagers, shouting and screaming and running as though the devil was after them.

Following, a few feet behind them, was a sheet of torrential rain! Whether this was some game the children enjoyed we never discovered but none of them got wet having managed to keep ahead of the rain all the way home.

Zanzibar

We did a taxi tour during our visit around seeing the house where David Livingstone stayed and the Sultan’s harem baths which were no longer used.

23 Oct

Reached Mombasa. We have decided to hire a car and visit the Tsavo Game Reserve although it is apparently the wrong time of year.  

Recollection: We had two days there. Went ashore first day and in to Mombasa. Entrance road has two great tusks going across the road. Hated the place. Full of beggars. One with a deformed arm pushed it in my face. Was told by the ship’s 3rd engineer who has become friendly that they sometimes deliberately made their children disabled beggars. He said they try to stunt their growth and also twist their limbs into different shapes.  I can hardly believe it - is this just a tale?

We shared a table with the two elderly ladies (Joan and Margaret) who are travelling together. They have made similar trips together before and when the two ladies heard us talking about going to Tsavo they asked if they could go with us and share the cost of car hire. We didn't really want to but felt obliged, for the sake of the rest of the voyage, to accept.

The four of us agreed to share the cost of hiring a small beige coloured VW Beetle for a trip to the Tsavo Game Reserve which is between Mombasa and Nairobi. Before the trip they said they were only interested in elephants as that was the only animal they had not seen on a previous African trip.

Ian, according to the car hire agreement should have been the only one driving  but I didn’t think it was a good idea as it would invalidate our insurance but Ian agreed  but he was pressurised by Joan into taking her share of the driving and instead of saying the insurance did not cover it, gave in and allowed her to drive.

The dirt roads outside Mombasa soon became corrugated and great clouds of dust billowed up around us with every passing car. Once in the driving seat Joan hooked her thumbs over the steering wheel, as lorry drivers do, announced that she hadn't driven since she drove a truck during the war when she was in the ATS, and tore off up the road. Now we, seated in the back, were at her mercy so far as stopping and length of stay was concerned.

On arrival at Tsavo Ian, after much nudging from me and the excuse that it would give them a better chance to spot animals,  took over driving again.  The speed limit in Tsavo is about 5 or 10 miles an hour.

Every quarter mile Joan or Margaret would call out  ‘there, what’s that ‘ - whereupon Ian stopped the car and we would all peer off into the direction she was pointing - trying to see what the smudge on the horizon was. After 5 minutes of nothing moving, during which she insisted it was an animal, we all agreed it a termite mound. Off again. Stop again. 5 minutes later - oh, this time it’s a small shrub. Off again. Stop - oh, nothing but a mound of earth. We must have stopped at every smudge on the horizon but did not see a single animal apart from the said wart hogs. This stop-start driving went on for mile after mile. 

As it happened because everything was so hot and dry we hardly saw any animals except a family of wart hogs - tails raised upright - which ran off the moment they saw us.

Then Margaret decides she wants a pee so we have to speed up to find a loo but after a couple of miles she can wait no longer, so we stopped and off she scuttled into the bundu to find a bush while everyone discreetly looked the other way. She soon came rushing back in a panic - sure she has heard a wild animal in the bushes. Off we set again. Then have to stop again for Joan to have a pee and go through the same thing again.

Eventually we reached a small rest camp with rondavel accommodation that was closed because it was out of season. There were just a couple of old African wardens looking after the unfenced camp and who lived with their families in huts near a large pond/watering hole. 
The ladies asked them if they ever saw lion. Yes, sometimes the lion arrived to drink there. 
Were they big? Yes, they stood about ‘this' high. 
Did they every go over to stroke them when they were drinking? A look of amazement appeared on the old man’s face. No, he said patiently, they all stayed in their huts until they were gone. He must have thought we were idiots. I raised my eyes to the heavens to him while he tried to keep a straight face as he walked off. (Thinking, no doubt 'What fools these white people are.')

Ian and I  took the opportunity to use the loos and have a cool drink we had brought with us but the two ladies didn’t need the loo now and took our advice not to drink too much because there were no loos on route.

One of the wardens informed us that there were some semi-tame animals, a baby rhinoceros, a female and baby elephant and several water buffalo nearby, they thought,  which were being raise by and were 'herded' by an old African somewhere up the road. 
So off we go again with our ATS driver, Joan back at the wheel, Margaret beside her, and Ian and me in the back seat.

Eventually we turned off onto a very poor dirt track containing several steep dips down with dried out streams at the bottom,  and down a bumpy hill, across a dry river bed filled with rocks - with everyone bouncing about due to Joan’s excessive speed. Nothing Ian or I said would persuade her to slow down as our heads began hitting the roof with every bounce.

At last, going up the hill on the other side we saw the animals still some way off, and being herded towards us. Turning the car round where the road was wider we parked and waited for them half way up the hill. At our suggestion, which she resisted at first,  Joan turned off the engine. 

Coming near were a drooling baby rhinoceros, a baby elephant slightly higher than the VW, its mother in front and several water buffalo massing around. Joan and Margaret started photographing and before we knew it we were surrounded as the animals came to a halt around the car and began to investigate us.

Mother elephant was right in front of our car, baby elephant  was on our right, and dribbling baby rhinocerous with wet eyes on our left and the water buffalo behind and on either side. 
Close up a water buffalo is large, solid looking and are usually very aggressive although these were not. However I was not sure the ladies realised this.

Margaret wound down her window to get a better photograph of the baby rhino who then thought the beige coloured car was his Mum, and taking the open windowt as an invitation, stuck his head through while making sucking noises with his lips, presumably looking for food as drool started dripping down the side of the car and inside window.

Margaret panicked and started to scream - and tried to close the window while the baby’s head was still filling it so there was the danger the window would trap its head and it would panic. 
Meanwhile Joan started the engine and began trying to nudge mother elephant's hind legs to get her to move forward. 
Meanwhile we, imprisoned in the back, were yelling stop, stop to her.

The engine  stalled and she tried to restart it until eventually she pulled the whole starter assembly out of the fascia panel, leafing it dangling by its wiring. 
Stuffing it back in the hole she again tried to start the engine while Ian yelledat her - ‘don’t start the engine’. 
Ignoring him she got it going and again started trying to nudge mummy elephant’s bottom again to get her out of the way.

Then I started to get worried because mother elephant was huge and I thought she was going to sit down on the bonnet. 
With us yelling at her to stop trying to start the car and Joan refusing to do so, Ian reached forward and removed the car keys  to prevent her doing more damage.

Meanwhile Margaret, without touching it, was trying to shoo the baby rhino to get his head out of the window .

Eventually he decided there was nothing for him inside and all the animals began moving off and back into the bundu.

After getting  the keys back Joan immediately started the car and couldn’t get out of there fast enough. 
She went hell for leather down the hill as though she was driving a tank. The car bounced on one side of the bottom of the incline, bounced across into the middle of the river bed where it landed on a large rock with a loud jolting bang, then the car  bounced violently up and across and down as our heads hit the roof of the car again. 
Without pausing to see if we or the car were injured or damaged she drove straight up  the other side, leaving a huge cloud of dust behind us and skidded to a halt at the top.
Ian took over the driving from that point and she did not ask if to drive again, throughout the return journey which was made in silence.

When we got back to Mombasa, and before handing over the car keys to the hire company, we had a taxi standing by to take us back to the ship, just in case they wanted to check the car underneath before we left, and made our excuses that we had to rush back to the ship which was about to sail. (A Lie.) What a nightmare!

Thu 25 Oct 62

Still no call from Ian’s office. Hooray - looks like we’re free. We spend the day lounging in steamer chairs on deck which is very restful. Reading a lot and am reading again, City of Gold about the founding of Johannesburg.

We have visited Beira and Dar es Salaam so far and are at Mombasa today. Went ashore at all ports we have visited so far. Later: Bought a silver bracelet at Monbasa and started buying charms for it - to collect at every port we stop.

Undated:

There is an old lady on board who is a nuisance to the stewards. She will not allow anyone to sit in the seat in the lounge which she she sees as her seat -she even turfed out one man who had the nerve to sit in it.

Partner and I were to play  deck quoits against her and a poor chap who had the misfortune to be on his own without a partner. I watched her play the singles match earlier and she was talking all the time trying, I think, to distract her opponent.

When the time for our match arrived I stuffed cotton wool in my ears quite openly when she started to complain loudly about this and that. ‘Why did she do that?’ she asked loudly to no one in particularl. Everyone around knew why I had done it and hid their smiles. We won.

Sun 28 Oct 62

Bridge tournament today. Our opposition are an Indian army civil service type man aged 60 or 70 and a young lad of about 18, Martin who, we learned yesterday, had never played Bridge and didn't know the rules. What on earth possessed him to enter? 
Anyway took pity on him and asked if he played Whist. A little, he said. So tried to teach him how to play Bridge in a couple of hours. Some hope.

On arrival at the Bridge table his partner asked if we cared to place a bet on the match. I declined knowing what his partner was going to be like and it was, as Ian and I expected, a complete disaster. 
Martin’s lack of knowledge of the game became apparent during the bidding and I had to keep coaxing him to play a card when it was him time to play, or as Dummy to place all his cards on the table, without his partner noticing he was being prompted. Throughout there was a lot of huffing and puffing and sighing coming from his Colonel Blimp. Of course we won - but I didn’t enjoy the game and neither did his partner. We never saw either again.

Mon 29 Oct 62

At Aden. Went ashore. Hot. Hot. Hot. From the ship the only sign of green is a single tree growing. No deep water here so went ashore by motor boat. 
Found a taxi and agreed a price for him to drive us round with Ian asking him to make sure we saw the Camel Corps. 
Nothing much to see there. Just dust and sand. Saw the golf course (all sand), the camel market and the tree seen from the ship and Sheba’s Well. And some camels at a distance behind a while which the drives said was the Camel Corps!
On arrival back at the quayside the driver wanted to charge us more for the trip to the Camel Corps. No says Ian - we agreed a price. 
There were no door handles on the inside at the back of the car where we were seated and only my side had a window winder meaning Ian could not get out. 
I opened my door and got out while the driver leant across to make sure Ian couldn’t get out on my side. I told Ian to pay him what he wanted. He refused. Soon a huge crowd gathered around us and everyone began shouting. Very threatening. 
Then a policeman arrived, listened to both sides and said we should pay the extra. 
Finally Ian agreed to pay the original price plus half of the extra he was charging and I thought we were lucky to get away safely. 
Caught boat back to the ship and during this short trip saw a dhow in full sail so thought I would take a photo of it . It had just left the quayside where we had been and several of the men at the back made their opinion of us by baring their bums!

Thu1 Nov 62.

Arrived Suez. Went ashore. Bought some charms only. Hot. Spent a few hours this evening with a few people we have met but because Ian doesn’t like me talking about my past I find I meet people I like and then cannot speak freely. Over a year since I saw my children.

Fri 2 Nov 62

Through Suez Canal and arrive Port Said. Strange standing at ship’s rail in the narrow passage which is part of the canal and seeing a man on a camel riding along the other side of one of the dunes with just his head and shoulders in view. Very hot. Sun on the sand very bright. Made my head ache. 

Sat 3 Nov

At Port Said the ship anchored last night in deep water near a pontoon. Boats came out to it this morning to take us ashore. When we returned there were several boats moored at the pontoon, all filled with various goods for passengers to buy. Toys, jewellery etc.

One boatman was demonstrating the latest toy machine gun which lit up and gave off sparks and made a machine gun like noise - rat-a-tat-a-tat. He was straddling the boat and the pontoon and a wave made his foot slip on the pontoon and he fell in to the water hitting his head on the pontoon as he did so - while still clutching the gun. 
The water was very murky and looked filthy and he soon disappeared from view and we heard the sound of the toy machine gun growing fainter as it and its owner went to the bottom. 
The man’s arm then surfaced, wearing a wrist watch but not his head. His hand was still clutching the gun which was quickly taken by another boatman - as though that was the most important thing.

The arm disappeared and the man who had taken the toy started examining it for damage while showing no concern over the drowning man. 
After a few moments, the arm surfaced again and the boatman quickly undid the man’s watch, took it off and let go of the hand! 
The arm again disappeared again. I couldn’t believe it and shouted to his friend ‘Grab his hand and pull him out. He’s drowning.’ Eventually he had the wits to do this and next time the arm appeared pulled his friend, gasping and spluttering for breath, back on to the pontoon.

Departed Port Said.

Mon 5 Nov 62

Straits of Medina, Stromboli. We’re in the Med. Very foggy and getting colder.

Tue 6 Nov 62

Arrived Genoa. Went ashore on two days on both of which it rained a lot so had to take my umbrella. Strolled around the city. Bought a lovely Italian grey wool suit.  Colder today.

Genoa

Fri 9 Nov 62

Departed Genoa, arrived Marseilles. Did not go ashore. After a while one becomes quite offhand because one port looks much like any other.

Mon 12 Nov 62

Arrived Gibraltar. Went ashore.

Tue 13 Nov 62

In Bay of Biscay. Colder still. No heating on ship.

Wed 14 Nov 62

In English Channel. Nearly home.  Colder and colder.

Thu 15 Nov 62

Farewell Dinner on ship. Didn't enjoy it because the ship is so cold and I wasn’t feeling well. (Later observation: Could this be because I was pregnant.)

16 Nov 62

Arrived King George V Dock. Bitterly cold. The gang plank had a cover over it but there was a gap between it and the ship. As I stood in the gap between the ship and gangplank the icy wind took my breath away and I took a step back into the warmth of the ship. (No heating on ship but it still felt warmer.) Didn’t think it could get colder but the wind whistling through that gap felt arctic.

Bern and Dad met us. Bern looked terrible - yesterday he had been involved in a mugging when he was taking the betting shop takings to the bank, and sported a large lump on his head and a black eye.  
Went first to Maureen's folks and then to Dad’s for the night. Suggested to Ian he should go down to the PO and send a telegram today to let his folks know we would be arriving tomorrow.

Sat 17 Nov 62

Good old reliable Ian. Didn't go down to the PO yesterday. He is going to tell his parents he sent a telegram yesterday from Stoke Newington PO informing them when to expect us. Leaving for Ramsgate (Orchard Close) in an hour.

18 Nov 62

Later: When we arrived Ian lied and told his parents he had sent a telegram yesterday but he had forgotten his Dad used to work for the PO and he knew every telegram sent was stamped with the time and date received recorded. He was all for putting in a complaint to ask what had happened to it.  His Mum nudged his father and told him to forget it, which he did but grudgingly. Sure she realises Ian has lied. I am married to an idiot.

21 Nov 62

Ian’s Dad is a miserable old devil. Mopes and moans and goes into sulks when things don’t suit him.(Just like Ian.) Listens to every news bulletin and no one is allowed to speak while it is on. 
Sits huddled in his chair while his wife waits on him hand and foot - even stirs his teas for him. He seems a right misery and Ian’s Mum appears to be frightened of him and does anything to please him which will stop him complaining. 
He complains if his dinner isn’t exactly the way he wants it such as the peas are boiled so that the skin separates from the inner. He really had a go at her over this. 
Bacon has to be cooked just right each morning and the eggs and toast have to be perfect or he sulks for the rest of the day. Can’t stand sulking. Ian does it a lot. His Dad is a bully.

She apologised for the picture of a nude with a parrot which they had on the wall in their main room. 
She was very kind and had been airing the bed for two weeks before our arrival, because Ian had not told her when to expect us,  and she made sure the bed was warmed every night for us with an electric warming pan so we had a lovely warm bed.

Later: Have been all round Ramsgate this afternoon and drove round surrounding area taking Ian’s Mum with us. The old man did not want to go.

At Ramsgate

Later in month:

Returned to 2 Hollar. Letter waiting for us saying little Piwacket died under the anaesthetic. Visited several places in London and now back here in Ramsgate for Christmas.

In Trafalgar Square

Wed 26 Dec 62

Returned to LND from Ramsgate today by train. As we pulled in to Victoria Station a few flakes of snow started to fall. Told his folks just before we left that we think I am pregnant. Bern and Maureen came over to Hollar Rd to spend the day with us today and we told them the news and Maureen said ‘Snap’ and said she was pregnant too. Like Maureen a lot.

Thu 27 Dec 62

WE woke to discover thick snow everywhere. Ian was up at 7 and off early at 8 to pick up car from Hertz in Knightsbridge.  Due to sail on Capetown Castle at 2 this pm. 

On his return he told us of his journey.
On the way there the underground train ground to a halt between stations and only ran again an hour later. 
Having picked up the car in Knightsbridge he was in such a rush he forgot to use the loo and the drive back to Stoke Newington was slow with traffic held up all along the way. 
He was dying to go to the loo and couldn't find anywhere to stop, fearing he would not be able to get back into the traffic if he parked by the side of the road apart from which he couldn't see the kerb because there was so much snow. 
Eventually he just stopped the car outside a pub, hammered on the pub door and brushing aside the man who opened it, shouting out 'Toilet' and dashed inside past him and used their loo much to the landlord's amazement, and then dashed back to the car and as he did so stepped into a slushy puddle in the gutter which filled his shoes, thengot back into the car. The traffic had hardly moved.

He arrived back with us at about 12 having become lost on way back,  by which time I was pacing up and down in front of the window while looking out for him. 
We hastily put our 14 pieces of luggage in the car, which took up the whole of the back seat  and boot and, with the three of us jam packed in the front, we were on our way to Southampton. 
As we left Dad realised he still had his overcoat on and said he would take it off when we stopped. We did not stop until we reached Southampton.

Trip to So’ton was very slow because of snow and traffic but scenery very beautiful. Trees looked like something out of a fairy land - covered in snow and the sides of the road and into the countryside were untouched snow.

We had to go to the Hertz Office first to drop off the car and pick up someone who would take it back to the office after driving us to the ship. I sat next to her and Ian had to sit on Dad’s lap on this journey. Talk about cramped.

Arrived to find only one gangplank was still down and we dashed onto the ship, grateful to think we had just arrived in time only to discover the ship's sailing had been delayed for two further hours.

The ship was again unheated and we stood on deck and saw that Dad had managed to find his way up to the roof of the nearby building and was waiting for the ship to sail. We tried to get him to leave but he was determined to stay there and see the ship sail but eventually we could stand the cold no longer and went to our cabin and to bed with our coats and all the blankets from both bunks piled on top of us. (His later letter said he stayed there until the ship sailed.)
By the time we woke the ship had sailed and England was just a little speck on the horizon. We don’t want to go back to SA but cannot stand this bitter cold.

(NOTE: The ship we were on was the Capetown Castle which went on the west coast route.)

Additional: The winter of 1962-1963 (also known as the Big Freeze of 1963) was one of the coldest winters on record in The United KIngdom. 

From Web: A very cold easterly set in on 22 December as an anticyclone formed over Scandinavia, drawing cold continental winds from Russia. Over the Christmas period, the Scandinavian High collapsed, but a new one formed near Iceland, bringing Northerly winds. Significant snowfall occurred as the air mass moved south and parts of the South of England in particular had heavy snow late on 26 December (Boxing Day) continuing into 27 December.