Two Lovers

She sat waiting, feeling out of step with those around her. At a guess they were all were 30 years younger and groomed to perfection. Seemingly each lived securely behind an invisible barrier and only the movement of their eyes betrayed their awareness.
Insecurity plagued her. What was she doing here? She knew she looked her age and slightly overweight, and now, more than ever, was conscious of her greying hair and aging face.

Why had the company chosen her to undertake a task for which she knew she was totally unsuited?
She felt thoroughly uncomfortable not only in the clothes she wore but in these ultra modern offices. The seating was low and uncomfortable and the lights were startlingly bright and made her head ache. She pulled her laptop closer to allow another to take the seat beside her.

ast night, as she prepared herself and her laptop for this she had been confident and knew exactly what she wanted to say. Now her head was filled with cotton wool and she was beginning to feel she had not done enough homework.

Why were they keeping her waiting? The company she worked for was big enough to warrant punctuality in others. She watched as they came and went from the inner sanctum, some glancing her way, some not, before returning to their office along with one of her companions. Was it surprise she saw in their eyes when they noted her presence?

She sat patiently, trying to look composed, in her neat black suit and uncomfortable shoes with heels she had grown unused to wearing. She knew she looked out of place.

At last it was her turn and she followed an unsmiling young woman half her age, who had obviously spent an hour and a half at home that morning in preparation, before launching herself out into the world again.

She felt panic rising inside her. Why had they asked her to undertake such an unsuitable task? This was completely outside the comfortably familiar work she had grown used to over the last fifteen years. She knew little about the intricacies of the product she now had to speak about, and had no interest in it whatsoever.

Reminding herself that she was here to discover if this company was capable of merchandising the product, she sat and cleared her throat, wondering how she should start.

‘I’m surprised they sent you along,’ said the unsmiling young woman seated behind the desk. She looked as though she had better things to do and wanted to get on doing them. ’We saw your director yesterday and we’re dealing with him now.’
The words brought relief but also annoyance for it seemed she had gone to so much trouble for no good reason. ‘Yes, I understand,’ she said, ‘it happens occasionally. I’m sorry to have taken your time.’ Embarrassed she hardly knew what to say and wondered - was that a smirk on the girl’s face? Making her excuses she hurriedly left, anxious to get her life back to normal.

Back on the street it was raining and she had forgotten her umbrella and knew it would be impossible to get a taxi at this time of day and would have to take a bus. She stood hesitantly on the kerb waiting for a break in the traffic before crossing the road to the bus-stop.
She was felt thoroughly miserable. Her feet ached and she wished she had brought a change of shoes, and now she could feel the rain  starting to penetrate her jacket. It will be ruined, she thought.

‘Can I give you a lift back to the office?’ A car had drawn up in front of her and she bent her head to see the driver. His face was vaguely familiar as someone who worked in another department and whom she had seen in passing along one corridor or another.
Accepting the lift, she settled her laptop at her feet and was locking her seatbelt when he spoke again.
‘Awful weather.’ She nodded in agreement. ‘I didn’t expect to see anyone from the office in this part of town.’ She felt obliged to answer.
‘It was a bit of a wild goose chase.’ He had a kind face and sounded sympathetic and she felt encouraged to explain. ‘But a relief, really. They asked me to see this firm about merchandising one of our new products. It’s not my sphere and I have no knowledge of it so don’t ask me why they chose me. Just now I found out that one of the directors went along yesterday and it‘s now in his hands.’
‘A bit annoying then.’
‘Yes, in a way, I suppose. This suit and the shoes cost me more than I usually spend in a year on clothes and I don’t suppose I shall ever wear them again. A relief though because to tell the truth I had no idea what I was going to say.’
‘Companies do some strange things sometimes,’ he said, nodding his head in sympathy.
The traffic was moving slowly and they had travelled no further than a block since he had stopped for her. ‘Look, it’s lunchtime. If I can find a space shall we park and find somewhere to eat?’ It was a spur of the moment decision on his part.
It would be nice to relax before returning to the office, she thought, and agreed just as someone began pulling out of a parking space.

The rain had almost stopped and they stood for a moment on the kerb, undecided which way to go. It gave her a moment to study him. He’s about the same age as me, she thought, and looks lonely. ‘Let’s get away from the crowds and try that side road,’ she suggested.

It felt comfortable and companionable walking alongside him chatting about inconsequential things of mutual interest. Gradually the newness of their meeting wore off and she felt she was talking to someone she had known for years.
A minute or two later they were standing outside a small friendly looking lunchtime café, wondering whether to go in when she found she had unthinkingly taken his hand. Realisation made her snatch her hand away in confusion. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that.’ He nodded, understandingly. ‘It seemed so comfortable,’ he replied.

They moved to the edge of the pavement and stood there silent, undecided, and people began walking around them. It felt as if they were standing on an island and the world about was no longer real.
She looked away, feeling his eyes on her, and as she lifted her head he bent closer and kissed her on the lips. For a short moment she felt the familiar rush of emotion swelling up and through her body and started to respond, before pulling back.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,’ she murmured, not wishing to hurt him.
‘It was nice,’ he said, smiling gently.
‘Yes, nice, but wrong. I’m married, and old fashioned enough to see it as a betrayal. After thirty years of love, trust and loyalty he doesn’t deserve that.’
‘I understand,’ he nodded.

A taxi pulled up beside them and dropped a fare and she turned and climbed in, without  a goodbye or looking back. Just for a few moments he had made her feel young and vital again.

He stood alone on their island watching the taxi disappear into the traffic and remembered. It had only been a few months since he had sat by a hospital bed, holding her hand as she slowly faded away.
The memory of the recent kiss felt like a betrayal but it had also felt good and made him feel alive again.

Copyright Jean C Noble 2011